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| Department for 404 |
| "MR. ANDERSON! HAVE YOU SEEN THE PLOT?" "Matrix: Reloaded" - the review by The Doc |
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| Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) and Neo (Keanu Reeves), fighting over the last avocado sandwich during lunch break |
| There are three sequels I've been looking forward to see with great anticipation: "X-Men II", "Matrix: Reloaded" and "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King". If Peter Jackson doesn't decide to let Aragorn ride into battle wearing a pink tutu at the very last minute, "Matrix: Reloaded" will be the biggest disappointment of these three flicks, though the movie, despite all its flaws, is still by far better than 90 % of Hollywood's other productions. But living up to a masterpiece like "The Matrix" is a difficult task, and even if you consider that we deal here with the middle piece of a trilogy, and many story arches will (hopefully) find their solution in the third part ("Matrix: Revolution"), "Matrix: Reloaded" still remains more of a computer game on big screen than a movie, which shows especially during the car chase, where the computer animations are too obvious at times. If you haven't seen the first part, studied all the websites, seen "Animatrix" and are a close personal friend of the Wachowski-brothers, you are lost. So here first a short recapitulation for those who don't know what it is all about: |
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| "Is this the plot?" "Naw ... or is it?" "Dunno ... could be ... you tell me ..." "Why me?!?" "You are The One - if you can't find the plot, who could?" |
| "Real life" is actually nothing but a computer program - The Matrix. The world is ruled by machines, humans are kept in tanks and used as living batteries to keep the intelligent machine park going. A few people have managed to escape The Matrix, and live now in an underground city called "Zion", where they organize the battle against the occupants. This they do within The Matrix, where they have to face CIA-agent-look-alikes called "The Agents", wear really sharp clothes, use lots of fancy weapons, and operate from a ship called "Nebuchadnezzar". |
| Neo (Keanu Reeves) Keanu Reeves is a fine, underestimated actor, exceptionally handsome and talented. I would really have welcomed it if both of these virtues could have come to use in this movie, but alas ... Reeves is looking pained and gorgeous - both he does very well, but he's underused - a little bit of acting wouldn't have done anybody harm. Kudos, though, for his stunt work - absolutely amazing, and I doubt anybody will dare to try and mug him on the street any time soon. In "Matrix: Reloaded" Neo, "The One", finds himself confronted with his new-won status as Cyber-Jesus, complete with disciples (among them an admiring teenager whose purpose, whereabouts and history are unclear) and a plethora of worshippers camping in front of his door. So when we see him flying fist-first like Superman (when did he learn this?), we can't help but wonder if he will walk on water in part 3. |
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| Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) The only one of the three leads in this movie who really shows some charisma. She manages to look more attractive in a torn sweater and uncombed hair than stuffed in shiny leather and latex, and is a refreshing and wonderful change from the silicone babes we usually get served from Hollywood. Her feelings for Neo are much more convincingly acted than the other way round, and she emanates warmth which will take you in for her right away. So it can't be blamed on her if you look at the relationship between Neo and Trinity and wonder if these two ever actually talk to each other. And why Trinity had to act like a jealous hausfrau in this movie, only god and the Wachowski brothers know. We get to see Trinity in a high-speed chase, first by car, then by motorbike, hunted by the obnoxious dreadlock twins, and while this is really breath-taking and makes you bow in front of the stunt people, actors and SFX folks alike, it is waltzed out far too long. The teenagers sitting beside me got bored and started to talk to each other after a while ("… and why do Neo and Smith never lose their sunglasses when they fight?" "Dunno, I guess they are glued on or something." "Like, glued to their noses or what?" "Yeah." "Wicked!") |
| Neo (Keanu Reeves) Greek god dressed like a catholic priest ... |
| Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) |
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| Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) The man is an actor, and a darn fine one. So LET HIM ACT, for crying out loud! Like Reeves, he's absolutely underused. And when he turns up to speak to the masses and tells them that now the machines shall be scared by doing a big rave, you will be cringing in your seat. It is ridiculous, a scene which could be found in any given B-movie from the sixties. We also meet a former lover of Morpheus, Niobe, (Jada Pinkett Smith), who is now canoodling with the Zion-equivalent of an English Colonel as portrayed by John Cleese in Monty Python's Flying Circus, Commander Lock (Harry Lennix), who rather wants to attack the enemy than count on "The One" (Neo). All parties involved do a bit of hissing and jealousy, but over all, this story arch is as much needed as the flu. The same can be said about the private life of Link (Harold Perrineau) who is now navigating the Nebuchadnezzar. Where does Link come from? We don't know. He has a discussion with his wife Zee (Nona Gaye) about his frequent absences from home and the dangers of his job. The scene does nothing for the movie, and one wonders who thought "Reloaded" needed an extra load of romance. At least Perrineau makes his "Link" a human character showing feelings, and provides some comic relief. |
| Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) |
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| Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) Everybody's favourite agent is back, and this time, he brings some friends along: for reasons we don't know he has learned to duplicate himself, and is after Neo in masses. He is now obviously an independent program - again, the why is not explained - and why he still is after Neo, I have no clue, but the fight between the hundreds of Agent Smiths and Neo is definitely the highlight of the movie, even if it is a completely useless one: as Smith can duplicate endless and Neo can fly off into the sunset like Superman, they could fight for the next twenty years without anybody winning. Maybe these are some strange male bonding rites we don't know anything about? |
| Smith seems to be strangely out of place in this story - why he does what he does is not explained, but he's in good company there. Hugo Weaving, despite not being one of the lead actors, is one of the few in this movie who delivers solid acting, and he does awesome stunt work as well. His "Agent Smith" is a three-dimensional character - which makes the rest of the cast look even more two-dimensional. |
| "Agent Smith, I presume?" Hugo Weaving as Agents Smith |
| The Key Maker (Randall Duk Kim) He makes keys. So much is clear, even to me, the "why" is another thing altogether. One of these keys Neo needs, as he learns from the Oracle. But the Key Maker is held captive by a program called "The Merovingian". I'm sure "The Merovingian" has his reasons - alas, he is not willing to share them with us. |
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| The Merovingian (Lambert Wilson) A computer program with a French accent and a sexy wife. He talks a lot without saying anything and likes wine. What is his purpose? No clue. Why is he there? Who knows. And why the hell is he French? At least this we learn: swearing in French is much more fun, in fact it is "like wiping your ass with silk". Aha. Maybe we should be grateful that the makers didn't force him wear a beret and chew on some French bread to complete the cliché - or is this supposed to be some payback for the French politic in the last months? In any case, the Merovingian is tough concurrence for Jar Jar Blinks when it comes to "most annoying virtual presence". The only ones who can compete with him on this position are |
| The Twins (Adrian and Neil Rayment) Vampires, werewolves, ghosts and tax collectors are, as we and Neo learn from the Oracle, computer programs which don't work the way they should. The Dreadful Dreadlock Twins are indeed most frightening - and why they are always shown on promo shots with Agent Smith, who has obviously nothing to do with them, is another mystery. The Twins are the bodyguards of the Merovingian. They hunt after our heroes, turn into some kind of ghosts and participate in a long, in a very, very long car chase. And they prove very, very successfully that dread locks can look very, very silly. |
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| Persephone (Monica Belucci) The most lovely wife of the Merovingian, played by Monica Belucci, the Italian bomb shell, leads the story with tender but firm hand into the netherings of badly written fan fiction when she demands from Neo a kiss, "a real one, like you kissed her (Trinity)" in exchange for informations on the whereabouts of the key maker. This alone would be cringworthy enough, without the added outburst of jealousy from Trinity. She knows Neo loves her. She knows he doesn't care about Persephone. She also is well aware how important it is to find the key maker, so her reaction makes absolutely no sense. Maybe the interaction between Persephone and her husband was supposed to be some kind of comic relief, but I can't help the feeling the only reason she is there is to provide the male part of the audience with some nice extra bits and pieces to ogle. |
| Summary: If you loved "The Matrix" for its action scenes, SFX, styling and music, you will also love "Matrix: Reloaded" and won't be disappointed. Those among you who would like to have some acting and plot to go with it: "Matrix: Fast Forward" and hope for part 3 of the trilogy. |
| Annoying: even here, in the last refuge of menkind, mix-raced relationships are obviously a no-no. One rotten mango for this. |
| "Mon dieu - je pense que je dois be grateful that ils ne m'a wear un moustache!" |
| "Snake skin boots are hyper -out, boys!" |
| Persephone - heavily armed |
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| RATING: 3 OUT OF 5 |
| PS: One tip - if you sit all through the credits, you will be treated to the trailer for "Matrix: Revolution". |
| The original movie knocked me out of my shoes when I first saw it; the amazing fight scenes (heavily inspired by Asian action- and fantasy flicks), the outstanding SFX, the basic idea of living in a virtual world - I was in awe. "The Matrix" was a milestone in movie-making, and its style has influenced a plethora of movies to follow. Not to talk about the fashion industry. In "Matrix: Reloaded", Neo (Keanu Reeves), Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) face again The Evil That Is The Machines, and Neo gets a little bit closer to the core of the secret behind the Matrix. Also, his relationship with Trinity intensifies, and we even get to see some nicking (I wish, though, they had spared us Mr Reeve's rear end - I am sure the part in question is well-formed and nice to look at under normal circumstances, but this scene here was so not nice). Zion is getting under attack, new enemies turn up, so do new allies, Morpheus tries to intimidate the machines by leading a mass rave in the style of the 80ies - and at this point, I've already given up on trying and following the plot. Plot? What plot? While "The Matrix" was innovative, "Matrix: Reloaded" looks as if it was produced for the sole purpose to promote and sell the merchandise. Hardly ever has a movie been pushed and promoted as excessively as this. There is no escape: Matrix posters, articles, interviews, pictures, games, toys, TV specials, the cell phone, the sun glasses, this absolutely unspeakable power drink with the even more unspeakable agent ("you are a battery - you need to recharge"), and I am sure somewhere out there somebody sells the Agent-Smith-Teapot-Warmer (lit. ed.). When a stylish movie with lots of action and SFX plus a sharp looking cast can sell all the nice little gizmos and gadgets, why waste time on the development of a plot? But let's have a look at the heroes, the villains, the highlights and the most cringworthy scenes: |