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| Department for Non-Conventions |
| YOU MUST BE JOKING. SFX - the Non-Convention |
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| It was the most disasterous event I've been to ever since my sister married that insurance sales man and held the reception at the local bingo hall. London Expo was not a convention, but a fair - an event where the audience has to pay money for the right to spend money on merchandise and collectables and extra money to get autographs. It's a most interesting concept, isn't it. The "guest stars" sat lined up behind their tables, and signed autographs for hours (the popular ones) or drew little doodles on their pictures and folded paper ships (the not so popular ones). "I'm having an out-of-body experience right now", one said. I can follow that thought. While the London Expo, as a trade fair, can slip away with the sterile atmosphere, the SFX Event cannot. It was an absolutely over-priced do in a venue with the charm of an old warehouse for vacuum cleaner replacement parts, with non-working equipment, lousy sound quality which made it mostly impossible to hear the questions and answers, and hours of queuing. Consequently, a fair number of visitors were very disappointed and angry - no surprise in times like these where most people really have to save and scrape to buy a ticket. If we had known in advance what to expect, we'd definitely stayed at home. The real howler, however, was the "SFX Reader's Awards" ceremony. Our theory is that the original promoters were kidnapped and the place had been taken over by the minions of the concurrence who did their best to ensure NOTHING worked. They were successful. Nothing did. I seriously tried to write a report about the "SFX Reader's Awards" ceremony - but I had to declare forfeit. The audience was kept waiting for 45 minutes without a word of explanation for the delay, almost none of the award winners turned up, the video didn't work, and it was only thanks to Chris Barrie that the event got at least a somewhat surreal quality in a Monty Python kind of way. So all I could come up with was a drinking game. Because the only way to get through that evening in a halfway good mood was to make sure one was drunk by the end of it. There were highlights, though. Michael Rosenbaum, for example, Smallville's Lex Luthor, who looks neat with hair and is a very confident entertainer. John Shea. Shanks & Plowman were a delight, too. The make-up panel with a live-transformation of a woman into a vampire was most interesting; we will report more about this in the next issue. Our tip: if you want to see Michael Shanks or Michael Rosenbaum, try to catch them at a "real" convention, in a halfway familiar atmosphere. It's more fun for all parties involved. Nobody expects convention organizers to work for nothing. It's a business, after all, and ever since they realized that Michael Shanks, Michael Rosenbaum et al are audience magnets, they use their popularity to increase their business. But also if it is understandable that you might be tempted to pay even the most ridiculous amount of money because you really, really want to see them: don't. You are a fan, not a milk cow. On a personal note: it was great to meet so many friends in London, and the Pink Khaki crew would like to say a big fat "THANK YOU" to Sarah, Ann and Lynley, who so generously donated their pictures. Our camera gave up, and without these gentle souls, we'd sit here with a couple of stickmen drawn by myself instead of the lovely pictures we can now share with you. |
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