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You say ....!?!
GOSSLIPPING
with Densie Dorfmeister
It's true!
't is is is!
"In TV Zone Magazine #149 I read the following article about the return of Michael Shanks to Stargate SG-1. Can this be true, or is it only a rumour? And what online forum did he talk to?"
"As this issue went to press, we received the surprising news that Michael Shanks is set to return to SG-1. In an unexpected move, he told an online fan forum that he was keen to mend the relationship between himself and Richard Dean Anderson, one of the shows executive producers.
However,while fans may now be partying in the streets in a carefree and windswept manner, it has emerged that Shanks will not be returning as Daniel Jackson. Instead he will play Dr. Jackson's hitherto unmentioned twin-brother Michael. Asked why he was not returning as the unbelieveably popular Daniel, Shanks commented: 'It would be unrealistic to have Daniel return to such a mundane realm, to have him walk with Human Beings again, ingest chemical replenishment and interact verbally about the miniscule matters that concern the SGC. No, I think Michael will not only bring back the importance of Daniel's independent and concerning ethical opinion, but do it with the fragrance and spice that only a long lost, west Indian, tourette-suffering brother can.'
Filming for the episode 'Oh Brother!' is due to begin at the start of April."
Densie sez:
Two hints:
1. The start of April is April 1st.
2. If Daniel Jackson had a brother called Michael,
his name would be ... ?
Michael Jackson.
Ha. Ha. Funny.
We decided that the Xposé crew deserves an award for this outstanding example of sophisticated humour:
Please insert your pictures.
TERYL THE FAN FIC AUTHOR?
"I read somewhere that Teryl Rothery writes fan fic and posts it on various lists. Is this true? And do you know what her nom de plume is?"
LIKELINESS RATING ON THE PINK-O-METRE
Craponite deLuxe
It is true that she wrote fan fic when she was a teenager. In an interview with German TV Highlights magazine she stated that:
" … I was a big fan of Star Trek in my teens and wrote some stories myself! … I was absolutely gone and in love with James T. Kirk, and together with two friends, who had a crush on "Bones" McCoy and Spock we wrote romantic stories. We've seen ourselves as high priestesses of the planet Zorgon, and when I was sad, I cried diamonds.
Our heroes, of course, found out very soon they cared for us, and we all got married!"
Densie sez:
Whether she's still writing - I have no idea. But I think we can take it as a given she was *not* involved in the production of "Dr. Jackson's Diaries".
But then again ... who knows ...? ;)
"I'm shocked! I read this "news" article in SFX #90, titled "Strange Tales - Shanks back?":
"Is the Stargate open again for Shanks? And what were the real reasons for that exit?
THOUGH IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED that Michael Shanks will definitely be reprising his role of Daniel Jackson in one episode of season six of Stargate SG-1, SFX has solid rumours from a reputable source that suggest the happy television family of the show may not have been so happy after all. It appears that Shanks may have been pushed out for being too popular.
Unconfirmed rumblings have it that a certain other star made his displeasure known to the powers that be about Shanks popularity. This led to Shanks being increasingly sidelined over the last season, with his character eventually succumbing to fatal radiation poisoning and ascending to a higher plane. Or becoming a giant squid, depending on how you look at it. "
THE LEGENDARY "DICKIE"-TAPES
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Does this mean Richard Dean Anderson has an ego problem?"
Densie sez:
No, dear. It means SFX magazine has obviously taken over a former employee of the "SUN". This is the biggest pile of guano we've read ever since a journalist wrote "... without Take That, Robbie Williams will not survive in music business."
NO RATING - THIS IS TOO LOW EVEN FOR THE PINK-O-METRE!
"I've heard something about the "Dickie"-tape. What is on the tape, and does it really exist? Or is this a joke?"
Densie sez:
Uuuhhh ... the "D"-tape! Nobody has ever seen it ... it's said to be a blooper tape with outtakes from season one, where a scene was shot while one of the male cast had something unzipped which is normally zipped up. An "insightfull" tape, so to say.
We think this is an "urban legend", or a private joke. Especially as it was never mentioned which cast member was involved.
So the only reason this rumour gets a "1" on the Pink-O-Metre is this quote from Ultimate TV's chat with Michael Shanks from 1998:
"What's the most embarrassing blooper you've done on the set?""Something with my fly undone."
It's true!
't is is is!
LIKELINESS RATING ON THE PINK-O-METRE
Craponite deLuxe
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It's true!
't is is is!
LIKELINESS RATING ON THE PINK-O-METRE
Craponite deLuxe
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"I have searched the internet up and down, but couldn't find any nude pictures of Michael Shanks. I'm desperate! I was told there are nude pictures of him! I know there must be some out there! Can you help?"
It's true!
't is is is!
LIKELINESS RATING ON THE PINK-O-METRE
Craponite deLuxe
-1 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Densie sez:
Of course you are absolutely right! How could you doubt? It is difficult, though, to lay hands on these rare documents of perfect male nudity, but we managed to get a hold of one of the prints. So here, for the first time ever, publicly available on the internet, The Shanks nekkid!!!
I hope you are aware what we risk here - but here it is:
